For some people, falling in love is easy. For others, not so much. And if you’re the kind of someone who constantly wonders, “Why is it so tough to find love?”, “Why I can’t find true love?” take some peace in knowing that you’re not alone. Many single people have yet to find love with another person, and while there’s no reason why finding love is so difficult for some, there is a possible explanation.
Often the entire world rotates around the concept of falling in love. But it’s not always as straightforward as it appears in the films, even when online dating is directly at your fingertips. But sometimes it seems that you are more difficult to try; you try more to find true love and continue to ask yourself: “Why can’t I find true love?” So read on for the top 8 reasons to know why you can’t find love.
Why Can’t I find True Love? Here are 8 Reasons
1. You are not trying to find love
You believe that love will automatically find its way. So you wait for fate to give you “this one” effortlessly. While you might meet the man of your dreams on the street or meet him at work, why not try your best? Sign up for dating apps, or contact a personal matchmaker agency. Try to look representative. When you see someone you like, make a move. Don’t wait to be invited. Are you looking for love, who knows, you might find it unexpectedly.
2. Your standards are unrealistic
You see, standards are important. Therefore, we advise you to know what you are looking for and pay attention to whether potential partners can tick the important boxes. However, if you don’t settle down until you find someone 6 feet 4 tall, even though they are rich, love to travel, and want kids, you will be looking for a long time. And if you think that you’re a very typical “type,” then, honestly, you’re likely overlooking people for the wrong reasons.
3. You are not done healing from past pain
You may think you’ve been through the past, but the truth is, it takes longer than you think to finish a year-long relationship. Some people say that it takes a year to heal every 5-7 years of marriage or relationship. We know many women who agree with this timeline. But, of course, that depends on whether you were happy the relationship ended. Whether he cheated or lied and what the breakup was like.
But if you’re still in your first year of healing and are disappointed that you haven’t fallen in love yet, it’s probably because you still have aches and pains to process, whether you think you’re in love or not. So be clear with yourself and give yourself the freedom to process emotions from ex-relationships before starting a new one.
4. Your demands are high
You expect too much. You have to understand that no one is perfect. Give her/him peace of mind because if he or she is trying hard enough to win you over, it means he/she cares about you. Don’t obsess over his/her flaws because you have flaws too, and he/she will find a way to ignore them or look the other way. When you love someone, you love them for who they are.
It’s not perfect, and it shouldn’t be. He or she is unique, just like you. So lower your expectations and don’t be too rude. See who you are and how you can become better before you judge others.
5. You are afraid of getting hurt
Breakups can be devastating, and if someone has hurt you or cheated on you in the past, it can be quite difficult to hit the restart button and open up to someone else. You may consciously want commitment, but deep down, you fear real intimacy, losing your self-esteem in a relationship, or being hurt.
But to find your true love, you have to let yourself be vulnerable, too, because that’s the best method to create that profound emotional connection. If you build walls, keep your distance from your partner, and refuse to let them get close to you, it means that you will never be able to find love because your relationship will never go beyond the superficial and shallow levels. The reality is you have to risk getting hurt to find love, and even if you’re having a hard time trusting your heart in someone again, it’s worth taking that leap of faith.
6. Your insecurities keep you trapped.
Are you actively looking for signs that something is wrong in every dating scenario? Do you feel the need for constant trust from your partner regarding their feelings and commitment to you? Starting a wave of fear and anxiety when someone doesn’t text you within a certain time? If dating tends to cause you this kind of stress, you may have an anxious attachment style. Of course, it’s not your fault – and may arise from the uncertainty of your significant other’s love and affection from an early age. However, this is worth exploring and working on as maintaining a relationship will be more difficult.
7. You have dynamic problems
Certain trials have a lasting effect on your soul. Harassment can have a huge impact on your self-esteem and self-confidence. You may become emotionally excluded because you are unable to process pain. Openness to violence in the early years can lead to fear and aggression. Such emotions can affect your current relationship and hurt your chances of finding love.
8. You need it
You see a guy as something you need, and guys like to be needed because it makes them feel important. They want to be caretakers, but it becomes too much when the need crosses the line. You have to want a man and not need him. You are fully capable of being alone and taking care of yourself, and you don’t need a man to fill the void you feel.
If you’re looking for love and want to find love but can’t find love, then you’re just yourself to blame. It’s easy to blame circumstances, but it takes brave people to accept that it’s their fault. And a brave person takes risks and finally finds love and has a happy life.